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Leading by Expression

Posted: October 27th, 2008 | Author: Brian | Filed under: Family Life | 1 Comment »

4 months

Something happens at the onset of parenthood that many don’t plan for. Perhaps it starts with a lack of sleep, from incessant crying or general joy. But every parent, to some degree, becomes more childlike. You can’t help it.
By all accounts, I’m a serious person. Or at least I’ve become one somewhere along the way. While I try desperately to cling to my sense of humor, I’ve found it slipping away slowly. Everyone who sees photos of Liam comments on how much like his father he is, always so serious with a steady gaze and furrowed brow. This worries me. I don’t want him growing up like that.
Behind his quizzical looks that at times make him look like a 30 year old man, there lies a kid completely unrestrained with happiness and glee. When talking to him directly he gets so overcome with joy that he physically cannot keep himself from thrashing about, a grin painted across his face so wide it forces his eyes to almost shut. The happiness is there, it’s just locked behind his stoic demeanor.
Becoming a father has taught me more about myself than I ever knew, and I wasn’t expecting this. Watching him is such of an insightful look into my own personality that at times it’s frightening. He’s shown me just how somber I am, and as a result I’ve slowly become more childlike around him. When I lighten my mood and expressions, he responds ten-fold with babbling and grins galore. He encourages me to not be so gloomy. And I need that, just as much as he needs a good giggle at his pop’s funny faces or voices (if not more).
He does seem to have a general distrust around cameras though. That I can tell you he definitely got from his dear old dad. I can rarely get him to smile when the camera comes out. As soon as he’s old enough we’ll both be fighting to be the one taking the family pictures so that we won’t have to be in the frame.

One Comment on “Leading by Expression”

  1. 1 Ian said at 8:55 am on October 31st, 2008:

    That is just about the most adorable thing I have read. I smiled like a child the whole time I was reading it. I am sure that it is the most wonderful feeling.